After Heartache
by eurieka
Summary: Sometimes all you need is a good ol' college breakup to find yourself.


Today was Sakura's birthday. Her 20th to be exact. She had decided against a party, much to Ino's consternation.

"Forehead," she started, putting emphasis on every syllable, "I can easily throw you the biggest party of the year."

 _Exactly_ , Sakura had thought. She didn't want to have the biggest party of the year. And so, she was undeterred.

A big party, aside from all of the unnecessary preparations, would mean she had to pretend. She had to pretend in front of a hundred, maybe more if Ino had anything to say about it, that she was fine. She had to pretend in front of her friends that she was fine. She had to pretend in front of her ex-boyfriend that she was fine.

Why? Surely all these people would understand if she wasn't fine, having just gone through a nasty breakup, wouldn't they? It wasn't that simple, however. Not when she'd been the one to break it off with him and rumors were floating around that Sasuke, in his own special way, had shown that he did not want this breakup to happen. Not when it's been nearly half a year. She had to be fine, right?

Unfortunately, while there was logic in the assumption that she was fine, in this case, it was very wrong. She was a wreck. She didn't regret doing it; she truly believed it was the right thing to do, but she was hurting.

For the last few months, she had been hiding under a mask of happiness and honestly, she was a little exhausted. The only ones who knew that her façade was, well, a façade was her group of friends and even then, they only knew minor details. The only two who knew almost everything were Naruto and Ino.

Thankfully, Ino had refrained from throwing a party. She had given out excuses such as, "Sakura wants to keep it low key this year" to anyone who asked.

The day had finally come and Sakura found herself standing in the departure area at Narita Airport with her friends. Everyone had gone out for breakfast beforehand. Everyone except Sasuke.

One by one, she received hugs and birthday wishes from her friends, with Naruto and Ino hugging her considerably tighter and longer than the others.

She took a deep breath and turned around. She normally didn't feel this heavy when leaving Tokyo, but this time...this time she felt a little empty. It was the first time she left without him to drive her to the airport. She felt her eyes sting at the uninvited memory.

She didn't get very far until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Confused, she turned around to the sight of Naruto holding a plain black box.

Face marred with a frown, Sakura asked confusedly, "You already gave me a gift, didn't you?"

"It's from the bastard," He started, fidgeting in discomfort. He inwardly cursed the aforementioned boy for sending him on this task. "He gave it to me when you guys, uh, broke up. Told me to give it to you on your birthday."

Sakura's eyes widened slightly. A myriad of emotions hit her like a truck, one harder than all of the others: regret. She was wrong. Sasuke _did_ see a future with her. She held back the tears moistening her eyes and slowly took the box.

Naruto pulled her into a tight hug. "Tell him I said thank you," Sakura whispered as his grip tightened.

"Happy birthday, Sakura-chan." He greeted once again, grinning as he let go of her.

She smiled under the boy's sunny gaze and moved to peck his cheek. "Thanks, Naruto."

"Ahh, go on, Sakura-chan," he said, pushing her towards the gate, "You have fun with old man Kizashi and mama Mebuki." Naruto always had a knack for keeping things lighthearted. It was what she loved most about him.

She giggled as she walked away and waved her hand in the air. "I'll tell them you said hi!"

The flight came and went, but the box was left untouched, at least by her hands. She settled for looking at it morosely every now and then, as if willing it to disappear.

As soon as she got to arrival, she found her parents and her childhood friend Sasori waiting for her with a small sign that had "happy birthday, Sakura" written on it. She ran to them as fast as her baggage allowed her and she was wrapped up in a hug by the time she got there.

It was good to back.

* * *

It was only when she was alone in her room that she allowed herself to open the looming black box, stark against all her other gifts that were wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.

She pulled it to her lap. It was light, but the way she held it made it seem as heavy as a boulder. Carefully raising the lid of the box, she stared in awe as the content was revealed to her. It was a pair of black leather ballet flats. They had the appearance of ballet shoes, but their soles were fit for outdoor use. She briefly recalled complaining to Sasuke that she couldn't wear her ballet slippers offstage. She'd have to replace them more than necessary and there was no way she could afford it considering she was also replacing her pointe shoes once every fortnight. "It would be so cute, though. Don't you think, Sasuke?" She had asked her boyfriend, who was untying her slippers with as much manliness he could muster.

She _was_ wrong. The realization moved her to tears.

* * *

It was on her last night in her hometown when she realized that time with her family was just what she needed.

She found herself sitting on the porch steps that night, thinking of what she would do when she got back home. Would she talk to Sasuke about his gift? Did she even want to? Sure, she found out that her main reason for breaking up with him wasn't exactly true, but for some reason, everything still felt so...right this way. She certainly loved him, she was sure, but was that love enough for them to stay together? Her warring thoughts took up so much of her headspace that she didn't even notice the front door open and close nor did she hear the footsteps padding closer to her form when she felt a warm hand on her head.

"Thinking about school, sweetie?" She heard her father ask from above her. She shook her head in reply and scooted over to give him space to sit. Once he had sat down beside her, he looked at her and asked, "What's keeping you up?"

She hesitated. Although she knew that her parents more than approved of her relationship with Sasuke and were equally as supportive of her decision to break up with him, it felt weird for her to talk about it because she was confused herself. And she said just as much.

Her dad gave her a worried look. "Confused about what?"

Looking away, she explained to him her thoughts. How she had spent the past few months overthinking whether she made the right decision, how her reason for breaking up with him wasn't as valid as she thought, and how her feelings confused her. She watched as her dad's worried look morphed into a sappy smile.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" She asked, pushing him playfully.

Her dad wiped an invisible tear and replied, "My daughter's all grown up." Still confused, Sakura gave him a half-hearted eye-roll as he ruffled her hair.

"Maybe you didn't want to break up with him. Maybe you just knew, in your heart, that it wasn't right, but you thought you needed a reason to break up with him so you looked for one."

Sakura was silent, digesting the wise words her father had spoken. The quiet continued for a few more minutes until her dad stood up, arms outstretched.

"Well, I'm off to bed, kiddo. Not necessarily because I want to sleep, but because I need to." Sakura stiffened as it hit her. Sometimes love was as simple as sleeping. We needed to do it, regardless of whether we wanted to. She didn't want to leave him for any reason, she _needed_ to.

She quickly stood up and went after her father. Upon seeing her dad at the landing, she ran as fast as she could up the stairs and hugged her dad as soon she caught up with him.

"Thanks, dad."

* * *

That Monday saw Sakura and Naruto, who had picked her up from the airport, walking to their usual table in the courtyard. At the sight of the two, a certain dark-haired boy's eyes widened imperceptibly as he moved to clear the table of his things and stand up. Before he could go, however, he saw a pair of feet clad in ballet flats stop in front of him. He looked up, masking his surprise with a blank face.

Sakura smiled nervously, twiddling her fingers. "I just wanted to say thanks for the shoes. I love them."

The unspoken question was loud and clear to every member of the group. _Can we be friends?_ They watched with bated breaths until Sasuke smirked.

He raised his hand and poked the girl on the forehead, a gesture of affection he had first shown her just before they started dating. "Aa. Happy birthday."

She looked at him with wide eyes and broke out into a wide smile. She kept it to that, despite her sudden urge to hug him.

He still walked away, but everyone knew that that would be the last time.

The next day, the group was complete again, as if the past few months had never happened. Only this time, Sakura and Sasuke didn't sit beside each other, but that was okay. It'll take time, but eventually, things will be okay.

Maybe things will be even better.

* * *

 **author's note:** Just when I thought I'd outgrown Naruto, amazing stories sucked me back in. Shoulda never have downloaded the FanFiction app. Anywho, here's a little something I thought up on my weekly commute. It may or may not be based off a breakup I had last year. *coughs awkwardly* Let me know if you like this and I'll post the next one sometime this week. Take care of yourselves. x


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